Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Ssiiiiiimmmbbbbaaaa

You know, I would apologize for not blogging over the weekend, but I’m not all that sorry. My weekend was awesome. I’m awesome. You’re awesome! <- see the exclamation mark there? 
So, moving on... I’m going to cram two posts into one today as I proctor this EOC. That’s fodder for a nice long rant on its own. 
First, I love my roomies so very much. I also love our intervention wall...yes, yes, I know.   I also love taking pictures, but with the pressures of teaching, coaching and a general lassitude about life lately, I haven’t taken very many in a long time. That’ll change soon. Especially if Roomie K buys that super awesome camera, and she agrees to let me use it. Smiles!
Second and on to the meat of the post: You guys don’t know how much I adore the King. Come to think of it, I love all Kings: Elvis, LeBron, all 800 million King Henry’s, Simba, Tut. Heck, I used to even LIKE the Sacramento Kings. No, not really. They’ve always sucked. 
However, my equal parts intense adoration and intense hatred for the one and the only Stephen King have no comparison. Seriously, I love that man. The Stand literally changed my life. I’m no Robin. When I say literally, I mean literally. I read The Stand, got a summer cold, lived in fear for about two days.  His books have consistently changed the way I view the world and the people in the world. If that’s hokey or sentimental, I’m probably not going to apologize for it either... 
I hate him too. It’s a very up and down relationship that we share. Katy Perry would love us; we could be her muse for more teeny-bopper crap. He infuriates me sometimes. The  ending of The Dark Tower series was not worth the buildup. I honestly don’t think that Roland EARNED that horn at the end. What did he do but suffer some EEEEE’s and shoot snitches out of the sky? Really? And King, you made yourself a character in your own FICTIONAL book....what the hell, man? I don’t know how many times I just stopped after Wizard and Glass because that little lit device turned my stomach. And then, you give us amazing wonderful greatness like The Talisman or The Green Mile intermixed with Dreamcatcher. What are you doing?? C’mon... The peaks of your writing are amazing. I want to Peter a tent on those peaks. But the valleys are oh, so low...honestly, the only comparison I can make is to Mercerism. (And if you can guess what either of those two allusions are referencing, I’ll give you a cookie.)
All that to say, for the past few years it has been my intention to collect and read all of King’s canon. I’m ashamed to realize that while I own several of his works, I have not read as much as I thought I had. I’m woefully behind.  I’m even more ashamed to realize that most of what I’ve read the general populace has read as well. I’m woefully embarrassed. 
Gotta do something about that. So here’s the list. I’ve bolded the ones I’ve read and starred the ones that I am most excited about. I might start this one a few days early if I can finish Storm of Swords and Feast of Crows in the next few days.
  1. Carrie 
  2. Salem’s Lot
  3. The Shining
  4. Rage
  5. Night Shift
  6. The Stand
  7. The Long Walk
  8. The Dead Zone
  9. Firestarter
  10. Roadwork
  11. Danse Macabe
  12. Cujo
  13. The Running Man
  14. TDT: The Gunslinger
  15. Creepshow
  16. Different Seasons
  17. Christine
  18. Pet Sematary
  19. Cycle of the Werewolf
  20. The Talisman
  21. Thinner
  22. Skeleton Crew
  23. The Bachman Books
  24. It
  25. The Eye of the Dragon
  26. TDTII: The Drawing of the Three (I’m with Kevin here: legs are a necessity for any quest.)
  27. Misery
  28. The Tommyknockers
  29. Nightmares in the Sky
  30. The Stand: The Complete and Uncut Edition
  31. Four Past Midnight
  32. TDTIII: The Waste Lands
  33. Needful Things
  34. Gerald’s Game
  35. Dolores Claiborne
  36. Nightmares and Dreamscapes
  37. Insomnia
  38. Rose Madder
  39. The Green Mile
  40. Desperation
  41. The Regulators
  42. TDTIV: Wizard and Glass
  43. Bag of Bones
  44. The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
  45. Hearts in Atlantis
  46. On Writing
  47. Secret Windows
  48. Dreamcatcher
  49. Black House
  50. Everything’s Eventual
  51. From a Buick 8
  52. TDT: The Gunslinger: Revised and Expanded Edition
  53. TDTV: Wolves of the Calla
  54. TDTVI: Song of Susannah 
  55. TDTVII: The Dark Tower
  56. Faithful
  57. The Colorado Kid
  58. Cell
  59. Lisey’s Story
  60. Blaze
  61. Duma KEy
  62. Just After Sunset
  63. Under the Dome
  64. Blockade Billy
  65. Full Dark, No Stars
  66. 11/22/63
  67. TDT: The Wind Through the Keyhole
18 days until 25; 17 days until BON freaking JOVI! (He will talk to me...)

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